Payback's A Bitch

I click on here every morning before I go to work, like a slave lol I didnt wake from my drinkin session head on desk, fountains of slavver on my chin and cheeks thank god but metaphorically I surely did and when I clicked on and saw what I had written I blushed (grown men can blush, even infrequently get spots too, I, for my sins, have a tiny sparodic clump of hair on my otherwise hairless back, the Fly springs to mind) then kinda went 'No way did I do that, when did I do that!'  Not apologising, maybe I should however I seem to have woken you from your sleep Suf, a great enough reason for my insanity I reckon. Is madness following your heart? 

I decided to run with the conspiracy theory thing as you know, what is out there you would truly never believe - now that stuff is sure to pickle you, maybe even get you locked up for right or wrong reasons - some say leave it alone, in fact everyone doesnt want to know.  I went slowly slowly easy on a mate with it who's point of view is strictly Scientific, Darwinism rings true for him, but the old adage why are monkeys still monkeys now, great debates.  Other day I hit him with 'what would you say If all the same people control the worlds media and music, films, video game companies - the worlds news and use these forces to kinda hypnotize the general population or force belief systems on them' Not saying I believe this, it was just a question and I like to hear him think but he didnt come back on it until a few days later with 'What would YOU say if these wild theories you delve into control YOU more than we as people are being controlled, us in the norm' - Great answer, was it an easy answer to find, great question there.

I dont wanna believe that war is inevitable.  The likes of Call Of Duty, would you say they advocate war generally, I would... then Scientific mate says 'If you had a bunch of people on a deserted Island who had never been influenced by say.... the media and television and such, dont you think eventually that people would have rifts and fall out and take sides and some sort of warlike behaviour would follow anyway- its human nature'.  I like this guy.  But I hate the plain facts. 

I strongly urge people not to go in search of truth in Conspiracy Theory circles now that I have experienced it.  You know not how deep the Rabbit hole goes and I dont really care that I may be branded insane, just as William Cooper or Phil Schneider didnt - or goddam it even David Icke - I remember being a kid and my parents laughing at him on Terry Wogan and I giggled too like a child in the herd and what did the media say of him at the time?  He thinks he's God.  He didnt say that, so I have to ask questions even if the man is or isnt nuttier than two snicker bars melted in a pot full of Roasted peanuts. 

I lighten up a little, Suf ya great old weary Bear I never wanted any pity but I thank thee for your words - never been called a Bastard with such fond resonance lol Too much sleep is as bad for you as a diet of Donner Kebabs - write some and write some more wise stuff or have you been doing and not sharing?  Thats greedy dude!  I enjoy mostly writing about thoughts and possible truths or theories lately, so much so I joined two of the most well known sites around, have been welcomed a little too but these people who absolutely cream their socks full of madness tend to just run with their own personal Jesus's, not religion like, well not all but you can be in a thread and there are not many quotes of texts or replies yet that is not wholly true - another big question I ask and see asked, are these places of madness just a delusion, created by the same people who supposedly run fookin everything?  Too many goddamn boring questions.

And there are no jobs to had in my desirable 20-30 mile radius in the bike game man, none, and this is what I do, upsell stuff, make people happy, dont make mistakes, and maybe you are right that all the previous work hasnt gone unoticed and I'll get picked from the basket like an unbruised apple.  All contacts have my details ya know and Bra size. I can appear sane 24 hours a day just the beard gives a potential 'something not quite right with beardy weirdy over there' hahaha And crisp butties are good, for a time lived on Monster munch on muffins, you say barm we in Vegas say muffin, remember a time 10 year ago when you couldnt get a chip muffin in old London time, an unheard of beast.  You dont want a cat either, to feed or feed on, their gas is unexpectedly rank, dogs are cleaner I have surmised and Anu my cat is insane too, still cries for his sister who departed to a better unbullied life in Birmingham with another great friend Shermys, gamertags allowed lol I leave too yet with no promises that outbursts like yesterdays could become commenplace, the mods, my friends have every right to take me off their site with no hard feelings from here, my head, I understand, just like waiting for a certain someone to delete me from their friends list.... go on just do it, you know who you are! I'll still have love for you.  And yes, to sleep certainly is to dream, wake and write them down again like you used to, read something great before you sleep and fill your mind with random stuff that will reflect them, I do but suffer from the worst nightmares imaginable - some pillock showed me a picture of a guy stood at the top of the eiffel tower last year, just two feet peeking over the edge and a photograph of the view down, its like a screensaver in my mind, a mind that is terrified of heights lol what a downright stupid boy to do that to me.  In the immortal words of The Cure, 'Boys dont cry' but I'm a man now so I can at least crocodile them.

--Don't Struggle like That or i'll only Love You More--