THE UPDATE. Good job I'm not from Del Monte

It was 12 months ago today I first played PARADISE, and I loved it.
12 months on and the latest update has drastically changed the game. I'm not from Del Monte but if I was, the man from Del Monte would be shouting a resounding 'NO'. To be absolutely honest, I haven't updated myself and I can only go off the list of messages I've received so far, but the reviews aren't good. In the last 90 minutes I've been informed:
It's blue. Everything is tinted blue. Billboards are bright red but superjump markers are blue... and "blue looks sh*t". "it looks like they got their inspiration from the teletubbies"
Nearly every car is now slower. e.g. the Carbon X12 was 10 speed & 9 boost, it is now 6 speed & 9 boost.
In offline road rages you get 10 secs now per takedown until the target is reached.
Not your finest moment CRITERION, not by a long shot. I'm not going to update and I'm gonna miss that game immensley. I'm just thankful I've done all the (previous) online challenges and I hope I can buy the legendary cars from the PS Store and use them without this update... but that's doubtful. I leave you now with my favourite quote of the morning...
"OMG wot a f*ck*ng balls up Criterion!"

Comments

ZombieTron's picture

Has the speed really been changed? or have they just changed the way the stats look as they were not accurate before and they are adding faster cars in the premium packs, so having the current cars be 10 speed will make the new cars look the same speed even tho they are faster??

I didn't think they were actually slowing the cars down that significantly.

I will probably try it out for myself this evening to see if I can tell any difference in the speed of the cars.

The better night time visuals is what I am most looking forward to seeing.

I am not 100% sure of this, but I think you might have to download this pack in order to get any/all of the additional packs which are coming. I don't think you will be able to opt out of this pack at all, unless you just want to play the original BP offline with none of the new DLC.

kevlar0's picture

I was absolutley dreading this update, due to the fact they (the Doghouse) have been messing with the car stats, They said on there news page that it was only the lower cars that had been tampered with, my heart sank when i just read the X12 and nearly all the others had been changed/noobified, i can only hope they haven't taken the inner beast out of the X12, just so unskilled players can drive it, that would be pandering to the masses just for the sake of it.

It looks to me that Criterion have lost all integrity, and have killed what could have been THE best Burnout to date, the dumbing down of Paradise in this latest update is a real shame, and will probably be a game killer for a lot of old school burners. It looks like Mr Ward is reeking his "Revenge" on us hardcore burners for slagging his game off and suggesting things that would make better gameplay, I imagine he is laughing his ass off at us, the people who bought your previous games, to put you where you are now.

Don't forget Alex, its nice to be at the top, but it can be a long painful fall back down. Sh1tting on your hardcore fans must have given you immense satisfaction.

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

zerojay's picture

I wouldn't really judge it unless you install it yourself. I saw people saying "The blue lights are SOOO distracting and bright" but it's not the case at all.

Install it, play it and make up your own mind.

 

Lofty_1783's picture

From screenshots it looks too bright and happy, not dark and aggressive how Burnout always has been. One question though, if I give up on road rages and install it then find out I was right and it is cack, how do I go back to how it was before? I can't copy my current game data (gama data, not saved data) to revert to a good version. So I'd have to start again, which means no bikes, night etc etc etc

SUFFUR's picture

I have the new Logo, got that last night, before midnight, put the disk in twice and no blue flashy lights or restart, so something is not working at my end I assume, will await with ...Patience is something I taught myself, so I never know when it's going to run out?

Patience is something I taught myself, so I never know when it's going to run out?

ZombieTron's picture

As tomorrow is the 6th, which is when the update is meant to be out, it looks like Xbox 360 users will have to wait another day.

kevlar0's picture

Flying monkeys arse, as my eggbox is bricked and i'm allergic to the colour blue.

I have been looking into organ donation to fund my new xbox, and I have had an offer for one of my livers and both my eyes, the doctor told me I didn't really need them, and that they will grow back in time, so I only need another 50 quid now for a core system. If anybody is intrested I have 2 spleens and a pairs of appendix for sale £49.99 for the lot.

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

Chu's picture

With my luck, they totally ****ed over my Togue, so I won't play it again until the new cars come out, since I'll always be using the Delorean once it's out.

YabobK34's picture

I haven't put my disc in yet, but since 1.6 is dowloaded from marketplace (825.45 MB.... Party Pack 60 KB) there might not be an automatic update on the 360 (or the PS3... whatever you're on).

[gamercard:YabobK34]

MERCURIG's picture

Update,,, somebody's pissed up joke. here here King lofty what a balls up just so the toy cars dont look outta place they had to make the entire city toy land and pretty coloursssssss dur ShItE

Khanon's picture

...is the look really that different on PS3/XBox from the PC? I bought the PC version yesterday and have been playing for about 20 hours solid. The colors seem "realistic" enough and the blue lights for the super jump markers stand out because of it. As well, the smash through barriers being yellow (many with lights if you're on an overpass/bridge/elevated road) make them stand out too without being "phony" looking.

*shrugs* I don't know how the cars handled before, but they are great right now (as far as I'm concerned, anyway), and if there were cars with maxed stats in areas, it would make it tough to add new cars that are actually better down the road (such as the island expansion).

Now...I'm sure in some dark corner of this site, I can find something other than rampant complaining...after all, the site name protends a haven of fans not haters, but so far, I'm coming up empty... *goes back to rummaging through things*

No more games, no more teasing. Time to play...time to die. --Pinhead

MERCURIG's picture

probably because its your first go on it then you wont see the '' problems '' fair enough and fair game mate its not so much haters we are , but some of us loved this game and kinda still do deep down but criterion seem to have ripped its guts out and sent it to a plastic surgeon for revamp ? our point is that there was nothing wrong with it in the first place so why the change ? i been playing it for about a year now and put some hard hard work into it for criterion to throw all that in my face and say '' waste of time mate '' because to me there making it easier to generate a bigger fan base and make more money ( fair enough buisness is buisness ) but us aholics or fans ? dont really see a reason for change nothing was wrong ?

ZombieTron's picture

and I am really pleased with some of the v1.6 changes.

The Fog does seem lighter, and no longer a reason to not play at all.

Night time does look more interesting now, I also hated playing in the Bike pack version of Night time, so I will play more now.

Burnout Paradise was not perfect before, and it's not perfect now, some things are better, some things are a little different and I'm not used to them yet.

The flashing bill boards are a bit annoying, but I can live with it, I know people struggled to get all the collectables without using maps and guides before, so if the game can now be completed without guides then it is a good thing.

The Road Rage change is a bit of a shame in a way... but I can see why it was done. When I first started playing BP I didn't pull over to finish the event and just kept going beyond the target. The new system will mean you don't have to force end the event and it will make the offline game flow a little better.

Overall I think all of the changes are improvements. Good Job CG!