It's big, I was angry, read at your own pace and pleasure, if you get any, and comment when indicated, It's a Blogticle...

 Or BlogTannic? My Blog Population: 1.

Have not written stuff in a while, well I did but lost it due to internet failing!

One of the things I wrote was on the Criterion Forums about the... the look of the game, and that has been lost to the ‘ghost in shell’, long may she, use the information to become more ‘human’, but not a god (see below).

Someone did ask about the green/blue hue and StephenU@criterion (art director) did answer the question, it was supposed to be more ‘realistic’ and the ‘lighting’ was supposed to add some ‘personality’ to the overall environment, that is Paradise. Not a quote.

To me the world seems dead, the Sun killed off everything, well it's working on it, all the colours are bleached out, the greens look brown, have a look at some of the trees in the ‘White Mountain area and Crystal Lake area’, they need water, or that is they will die, like the population, the ones still alive, stay at home away from the death rays that is the ‘sun’.

A vampire prison, think about it. (I just added this on a proof read, so dibbs Burnout Hallowen, too)

Look at the other colours of the map, they are all bleached out, so you can’t tell the difference between, a wall or a road, it was fine for super jumps, short cuts and billboards, they had strong colours, yellow, red and flashing, so they could be identified, but once you smash through, they sort of become one with the back ground, though super jumps do have the yellow plastic bollards reset, but they seemed to look like the bollards that are used to be placed over missing lighted traffic island bollards, warning of electric shock to pedestrians!

Oh and the cars have many colours too, nice to see, one thing, sorted, shame about the city.

Yes there is a colour palette, of many colours, but from the oven set on K not C, for Kelvin and Over-‘K’ooked. I thought this was an arcade racer/crasher (way too much crashing, imo) now it looks, like the last days before nature tries to survive, a population killing solar flare.

Arcade was supposed to mean colourful, see the previous Burnout games (well Burnout 1 was a bit dullish, but did have more colour than Paradise), there are colours, from different blues, greens, reds, oranges, whites, yellows, well you name it, there is a lot of colour, true very bold stuff. And those colours identify areas of races and objects, and give the eye stimulus, and no I don’t want to go into colour theory, to many essays on that subject at College and University, but Paradise seems colourless, even for identifiers, like walls, areas, dangerous objects etc, and back to the crashing.

Some would say you are travelling at X speed, where X speed is fast (yes, no Speedometer Criterion, so how do, Atomika and other people say, you are travelling at 200mph when we can’t see it as so, the suspension of disbelief, can use sound and visuals and you (Criterion)do a great job conveying the stimulation or is it simulation or both, but a counter saying so is way stronger, (but also helpful when you have to slow down for those mismatched short cuts), so you would not see many details, except at the ones in front of you, and in that case helped for the other Burnout games when colours were stronger, stuff was identifiable at speed blur. In Paradise the ‘speed blur colours’ seems to be put into the colours of the world before you start racing, so when you do race you can’t see shyte and again crash lots.

I think the other reason, that people are only going for their achievements and moving on, is that Paradise is that colourless, unappetizing; it looks dead, dull, so why come back for more. A meal looks better in colour, than it does in black and white or some hue of Blue or Green, though some food in full colour looks gross too.

And that sky, it looks like some maelstrom is about to occur (very cool mind), and the gates of Hell are about to unleash the demons, to fall from the sky and devour the last remaining 8 people left in Paradise, who are avoiding dodgy robot cars, similar looking back grounds, to win a race that is handicapped by shortcuts that will not stop the demons as they created them in the first place. I just hope the demons are red, so I can at least see what it looks like before I die, and not some dull brown, so they fade into the back ground.

Paradise is not a ‘living world’, its automated, robot cars/traffic doing it illogically, turning into the racer, instead of away from an impact; it is too random, in my opinion. As a racer, you need to choose a route to go, and analyse what the oncoming traffic, or not, will do, will it pull left, right or stay straight, the hopeful outcome?

But that is the great equaliser, says Hamish in pod cast 20, was it? Traffic is supposed to hang you up, especially if you are in the first 3 (he did not say that bit), nice ways to add some difficulty, but seems to upset the flow, if the traffic does not act like traffic in this ‘realistic’ world, no-one wants to crash, and so should the traffic, some of their avoidance is great fun to watch, but that normally gets seen after the racer crashes themselves.  

I crashed on one side of the road (I-88), re-spawned, and on the other side, a car saw my crash, had a right wheel blowout, and flew down the road, looked really cool, but why? Because it was cool, and yes I think it was better than all those cut scenes, going through repair spots, gas stations, (by the way on the gas station on Angus, if you go too fast, you wheelie and crash into the right side of the gas station, all the cars i tried, which was a few), the crashes/takedowns and super jumps and that darn camera flash, going through a check point, understandable for the finish one but for the ones in between, just another equaliser was it?

Traffic seems to be placed at the end of short cuts, so even if you do mange to sort what speed to hit it, as soon as you come out of it, you crash into that darn traffic. I can understand short cuts are supposed to be risky, but not death defying, and that someone who takes a normal route, it is supposedly a safe bet to win a race, but that was not the point, a short cut was a risk to win, not to get DN-fracking-F.

That DNF, is starting to stand for Dumb Noob Fracking-up, and people just don’t want to race, as the stigma of that is very off putting, not for me mind as, I created the race in the first place and if I got DNF, it was because I was watching where the problems were for everyone else or because the short cuts were over risky, that I crashed into every car at every exit that was supposed to be the quicker route?!?

To tell the truth this is not Burnout Paradise, it’s Burnout Hell, and sold as such, would have probably more players sticking around, trying to find, something alive left after the demons have left; like some Japanese Animation, looking for Gia or Earth Soul or Transformers, after the war on earth and humanity has been crushed to dust or burned to ashes, which could be covering Paradise, hence why it looks dull. Someone said it was like the Flick, Cars by Pixar, no way matey, that was way more colourful, in a way the opposite of Paradise, and was more fun to play as a game, though the handling physics was just a bit off. (Yes I borrowed it, but it took me 3 hours to get that achievement, so I gave it back, or did I not get it, can’t remember).

In some of the forums, people say this game lacks a soul (it has a little one, but it’s generated by the community, sex toys included), it’s not Burnout?

Well it is, it was made by Criterion, and you go really fast, and crash. It’s Burnout! Oh and for the haters E.A. own Criterion and distribute what they make. Pity they did not buy Acclaim beforehand, that would have been an interesting chain of command?

But with the other Burnout games you only used the drift brake, (does not really stop you does it? Just makes you go backward.) to drift and stop then go backwards (with Revenge to go even faster if you jumped and drifted, you have to ask yourself though, if it was a glitch/bug, why did the speedometer show those higher speeds, if the cars were supposedly capped to 209 mph?) now, you have to slow down (drifting brake {repeat like shampoo this paragraph}), or stop by using the X button to emergency brake, to get round a fracking corner.

The soul of the game is supposedly like the Film Vanishing Point, even if you crash, you’re still supposed to keep going, even in spirit, like the end of the film (IMO). He hits the bulldozer, but the camera seems to indicate that he is still going, and nothing will stop him.

Burnout was supposed to be like that, none of this slowing down or stopping malarkey. Though all car films were supposed to be an influence on Burnout, so why is there no set pieces from films in this game, sorry there is, French Connection, from the Downtown bits, and the over head railway. Step riding/jumping from Bourne Identity, jumps from Hooper, the Burt Reynolds stunt man movie, I think it was called and there are others, [please name them in your comments if you wish].

But one of the challenges was drive through, a circular drain bit up in White Mountain, and indicates an Italian Job type of feel, Kcuf off, not a load of crap, my lana channel is longer. Why is there not a drainage system running through the whole of Paradise, that we could recreate that Italian Job feel, and slide up and down the shyte covered walls, windshield wiper on max, I would except crashing if my car was cover in shyte!

And that is what brings me to this, what would have brought life to Paradise, other than flying brown shyte.

Snow and icy roads in White Mountain.

Steam and water vapour coming out of man-hole covers in Downtown, hit a fire hydrant and water sprays across the road.

Cops and ambulances, that go to the crashes, now that would be an obstruction, I could live with crashing into (its a game), especially, if a big rig jack-knifed on the road, and one of those giant tow trucks was in the way. You check a car; it’s crashed till the end of the race, an obstacle that stays there till it’s cleared, by a Tow truck, with the emergency services doing the clear up, I might even slow down then and rubber neck, like in real life. As Long as we could see other peoples crash damage??

The sidewalk detritus, breaks down into smaller pieces and stays there for the whole gaming session, as long as the host stays, with radio traffic reports, telling people of accidents, and bad areas to not drive, (Sorry for that one watched the new series of Knight Rider last night, would like a really smart GPS, then he can be cheesy, and not a DJ, unless selected lol).

More varied traffic, like tankers; where they park up near garages, sorry gas stations, (oh and we need more of them to be realistic too) and block the entrances, and can be driven under it if the car is low enough.

I know the ‘Vine Yard’ section was cut from the game, but a good place to have rainy section, with the sun popping up, and causing a rainbow, a spectacle that would be another distraction to crash and as it dried to a haze, as the water evaporated.

Fog, mist, a bit of morning haze, anywhere that it is need, was used well in Burnout 2, why not in Paradise.

Kcuf it, Dew drops and heat haze/mirarge (added at proof read, so no spell check for that one)

Going through, ‘Lone Peak’ the sound of saws buzzing, wood chips-a-flying, and hitting a reversing logging truck, or driving under it if you have the right type of car.

The rail road is active, real Rolling Stock (Zombie, Daylight, Kev stop it, it’s not a podcast) like that picture from years ago, and a rolling stock (zip it) takedown.

An underground system/subway that can be raced, again with moving trains, and underground stations big enough for Neo and all the Smiths to fight in, well not that big, but nice shiny marble floor surfaces to skid on, and ticket machines to smash trough, money sound effects as it hits the marble.

‘Sunshine Keys’ with rain, storms from hell and a hurricane, that will blow over high sided vehicles, and even throw light weight, but not road holding cars if they are going fast enough, into the air.

‘Silver Lake’, where the lake has stuff ‘alive’ on it, speed boats and water skiers, what come near the roads and splash water onto the road and racers. The odd fisherman/woman and their camper van.

Being able to drive through the waterfall and the water from the sluices of the Dam, (that need to be bigger, like Burnout 2’s one, and some dodgy link to the sewer system, town planners and their cost saving exercises, tut tut.)

There could have been a ‘China Town’, so we could have had Tuk-Tuks, and Rickshaws etc

That lost ‘Airport’ that has all the weather that can be got, at the same time, like it’s built near the Bermuda Triangle, and then cars can fall through the fracking floor. And hail, that causes your windscreen to chip, fix that at the auto repair.

Why is there not a stunt park in the game like a skate park from ‘heaven’, that is perfect, nice run ups and some nuts jumps, and a loop to loop, and where is the James Bond Jump from ‘The Man from the Golden Gun’?

A really big mall, like da’ one from the Blues Brothers, lots of glass, market stalls and dummies spread all over the floor.

More driving through buildings and roof tops needed, IMO. I can see the west side of the river, the bit that covers most of the road, an above the road, a stunt run, maybe, entrance at the construction yard, nearby?

Hey why not a race across a large scale firing range, bombs, mine fields, and gun fire going off, (this came on when playing Rainbow and boost starting, lol. I hope APB?) Now that type of short cut would be nuts, but a good reason to ‘crash’, well, get destroyed.

Night and Day, head lights that can be turned on or off, to add to the risk, well at least the racer’s ones, then the traffic would not even have to swerve, as he can’t see me, to crash into, just ‘hear’ me zip by.

Rear view mirrors, and side mirrors if in in-car view. I had a hand held game, out at the same time as Game and Watch ‘Helmet’ from Nintendo, early 80’s or is that circa 80, whatever, that had that, even if it was in Black and White/ LCD grey, next-gen lacking, and without the use of six other XBox 360’s mind, that is a great set up for Forza 2, and an experience!

I did notice in Newton Drive the trees have leaves that do flutter in the breeze, nice, just sad that the water fall is like ice? Actually most of the water in the game seems dead except at the Dam, tried to park there, to get a closer look, felt like Gollum, looking for his ring, Italian Job, not.

Swing Bridges, moving bridges, that go up and down, or split and you see the water traffic, as it goes under and you just miss the smoke stack of some ocean liner or not, a good place to crash or get a takedown.

Marked man seems to be like the Mafia is after you, why not change them into cop cars then Pursuit mode is born, though some of them stop in the way, maybe some FBI choppers etc.

And why not pedestrians, coding is a bytch, but why not reach a more mature audience, or have the option, age locked, not that they have to die, they could have been like Midtown, and just get out of the way, like pigeons, same with the drivers, they only needed to have racing helmets on, and no they did not have to fly out of the car, they should be strapped in anyway, with racing harnesses.

But we could customise our fire proof jumps suits and Helmets; there is a queue for the Pinks ones already!

 Loading times w(h)ere, (no there on the stair?) not a problem, long ones were, from crash mode on Revenge and  Takedown , but the ones after the races on Paradise are good/quickish, and loading them up are good, too. But is syncing the same as loading?

The city is broken up in districts, but none of the areas have, a set race section, set of roads to race on, I tried to create them, but with the finishes being only 8, it does not work to just race Downtown, or White Mountain, well White Mountain is not so bad, you have 3 finishes up there.

Bigger, more.

There are no birds, planes (maybe if that airport is rebuilt), for that matter not that much of any flying objects except when you crash, then they just go away, in Revenge there was newspapers, leaves, dust etc. Oh you, in a cut scene, and maybe someone you takedown, or you again jumping of a big jump.

Fire and explosions.

Destructible buildings.

Just god (small ‘g’, I think I’m covered) dam more Physics, for everything, since I will be wiping shyte from my windshield.

Yes a future game, Burnout Windshield. We throw shyte at you, you can see it coming, and you have the tools to clean your screen, with scented screen wash smell, (included with purchase of game, rub the box on your nose, as you hit, still working on the button lay out, that could be customised, if you stuck in an off line menu system, I think in my own opinion, your Honour? My blog, I write within the laws laid, I think?).

It seem like you created a world, with no loading, introduced some new elements, like Stunt Run, and ShowTime, and the map reflect their use, but for racing and road raging, most people take the easy route, with rage, go to the I-88 or up in the mountains. With race, stick to the main roads, unless you know the side roads well or the short cut that takes you to the main roads, and then stick with that road.

The takedowns are still too weak, yes the AI is great, aggressive etc, but online, still not strong enough, I was in the Roadster the other night and killed the Van, with a side swipe, little monkey hands, I don’t have.

Yes, everyone who has played Burnout before Paradise, knows the old formula of track based games, (Burnout 3 being the game that had the tracks linking from one section to the next and it worked really well and thinking what Paradise was going to be like in a sense, 2 was the same way but not online), so we come from that school of racing, but with games like midnight club, midtown, NFS old school, not the new one which, just seems like a RIP of Burnout really, but had an open world feel. But the roads are supposed to flow, I looked at those games recently, and their roads flow well, good routes to set up races, circuit or otherwise, Paradise seems to be created to just go point to point, in a sort of straightish line, especially with only 8 finish points. I am being harsh with that comment, because I have managed to create circuits and nice flowing point to points. But in the above games you did not need to slow down to race, with Paradise you do and that is not the Burnout way of the past. Never stop, never surrender and quit, as the bugger in front of you may crash, and hence you take his place, for the win.

True we all have to slow down, so it makes it even, but … no kcuf it.

What you people at Criterion have done is amazing, with technology etc and hard work, and you deserve your accolade video for those achievements but god dam it (if he exists) you forgot about going bloody fast and not having to stop for anything unless a mistake was made. And going fast in some areas of Paradise is possible but not everywhere, you removed the speedometer, because there is no speed limit in Paradise( yes I have seen the signs, FO), so why look, but the space that is Paradise does not reflect this.

I think you needed another year to bring this city to life, and I would have waited and so would a lot of others, and also to build roads that could be run from point to point or be turned into circuits and use any junction that was put on the map to build those circuits, and made them area specific and more colour coordinated, if a race creator wanted to, even put heavy but movable walls in like in Crackdown.

The HUD map and GPS system needed more bloody work, what you got was good for a test, but for actual game play it is rubbish.

You seemed to have rested your laurels on your technical work, and Stunt Run, and ShowTime, and hoped the racing works, you went too ‘realistic’, with the slowing down, more controlled type racing, no more ‘balls out’ which was Burnout of old.

I do like you guys (male and female, no, i'm a Lesbian, but thank you), you are human, hard working, funny(well the ones I have heard on the podcast), and believe in a vision, but it seems along the way you worked so hard at making other things work, that you forgot the core game play, racing and crashing, and when I say crashing, you did upset the crash people a lot, but Showtime will grow on them especially if they take it to the limits of NN and his $1.5 billion, lol.

Ok you made the game, and it’s sort of fresh and new, amazing from so many aspects, and looking at the point of view from a tester, it is great with the criteria set down by the game engine, but more should have been added and more thought should have been made from, ‘what would the burnout community have wanted’ the racers and the crashers, your core audience, who purchase and participate in your games.

You may have made and sold it and gained a new audience but you have lost one, on just how it looks and how it plays, and she said it looks like hell, plays like hell, and there is nowhere in hell she would buy it, and I respect her for that, no matter how much I tried to convince her that some of it is good.

To me, it’s a good game, nice try, but if you make another, I want more than technical excellence, I want a great Burnout game that deserves the mocker Paradise, with most or at least a majority what I said above, in the game, as most were in the others, and nick the good stuff from other driving games too by the way, and don’t give me that ‘we like to re-invent ourselves, do something different, not follow the norm, repeat ourselves etc bullshit’ if that was the case, I would still be trying to play Burnout 1, though probably not, as I did not like it, maybe more Midnight Club 3 then, at least they keep the core game play element from reincarnation to the next. But then I’ll have to wait and see when the next one comes out. It’s been a while since I saw L.A. Or quit driving and go back to my RTS, Red Alert 3, and Halo Wars are looking distracting, so practice is needed. Rainbow 2 is defiantly looking like getting a bunch of FAQ’ers together, for many nights; I just hope I can reset my Rank.

I feel better now, with this gen of consoles I don’t know what I have written above could ever be done, I thought it could, and am thinking that’s is the game I do want to make, well, with a lot of other additions, if I can remember them, oh and learn costs, and need another education, but sorry Criterion, You Rock, but Paradise does NOT, and DLC is going to have to be astounding, but all news is good for someone.

Now to see if I can get back online, and get some more challenges done, next week I’ll finish it, maybe the week after, maybe it will be another game I will not finish, on the 360.